Stiles gun

Monologues from the Mind of a Shrubbery Murderer

The Excerpts

Fanfic: Teen Wolf (AU)
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi


Fandom: Teen Wolf (C) Jeff Davis and MTV
Title: They'll Be Alright
Author: louis_lombardi
Rating:
PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Laura Hale (POV) with Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. Could be considered pre-slash Sterek.
Warning(s): Mentions of gore and violence as well as Hale House fire.
Spoiler(s): Nothing major, only background info mentioned within the first season.
Word Count: ~2,100.
Summary: AU where orphaned Werepup!Stiles grows up with the last two remaining Hales.
Disclaimer: The show and characters are the sole creation of Jeff Davis and MTV.
Cross-posted at my tumblr
----



Stiles was indeed a hellspawn, Laura Hale reflected.


The boy, only twelve-years-old yet growing like a weed with each moon, liked nothing more than to run around and climb her brother like a tree. Derek would put up a big show against it, growling and snarling, but she knew it was all bark and not bite. Besides, he looked ridiculous with the peach fuzz growing on his chin and she couldn't be blamed for not taking him seriously. Stiles himself took no sass from the other beta (sometimes even nipped playfully at Derek's ear, which never ceased to send her into laughing fits at her brother's red, puffy face) and continued his harassment until Derek huffed and gave up.


Stiles typically won those battles.


On the off-chance that Derek should some how manage a stunning victory, all Stiles had to do was whine and bat his golden-brown eyes. She swore it was like watching ice melt. The broody eighteen-year-old vehemently denied this and if Laura should just so happen to hear his heart stutter at his own words... Well, she kept that bit of information to herself.

Read more...Collapse )

Wow
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
I have seriously let this thing die, haven't I?

Well. I should probably change that. Maybe. For the record, I'm done with undergrad and have a lot of useless free time between now and post-grad.

I can mostly be found at my tumblr account though--I visit that place like a boss. There's a link in the sidebar if you're curious.

So get curious! Send me a message if you want to talk or fan-geek about stupid things.

P.S. I'm preferential to Tom Hiddleston.

Thor Art
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
Title: Hug
Artist: louis_lombardi (also, see my tumblr for more)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Thor or Loki, they belong to Marvel Studios. I express the right over the artwork herein however.
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Thor/Loki (movie-verse)



I may or may not spruce this up...

I enjoyed this movie too much! Mr. Hiddleston was brilliant and so was Mr. Hemsworth and the rest! I sympathized hardcore for Loki's struggle despite the lack of scenes he was given.

It are Avengers tiem nao? y/y?

Is on a Merlin kick
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
I've been watching BBC's television series, Merlin for the past couple of weeks. 'Tis good stuff! I'm totally in it for the homoeroticism characters.


So much so, that I already started drawing pictures!

I don't know why, but Merlin deserves mandatory watercolouring...Collapse )

I hate emos
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
You emos need to seriously get over yourselves. So what your parents made you do something like cut your hair or where a nice outfit. BIG DEAL. It's nothing to cry about! If you honestly expect to get anywhere in life, then dressing and looking like a hottopic idiot HAS TO GO. Unless you honestly expect those shitty-ass pieces of crap you call "art" to get you high-profile deals in the comic industry. Or, dare I vomit it, the Manga industry. Breaking news! YOU'RE WHITE, WHITEY!! Which reminds me, stop trying to sound Japanese!! You're NOT. You're just abusing the language and being very superficial in what you study. I bet if you picked up a book about Japan during WWII, you'd be less likely to scream "DESUDESUDESUKAWAII!" and more likely to vomit at the atrocities they committed.

Twifags
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
My friend is looking for some good Twilight meta (preferably the ones against the series). Any good sites/examples?

Meme aka somebody needs to research their mythical creatures
Boosh Tickle
louis_lombardi
MYTHICAL CREATURE QUIZ:

Centaur:
[] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[] You get drunk a lot. (I don't think centaurs are the bawdy drunken type...)
[x] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[x] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[] You are spiritual.
[] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 4

Elf:
[] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips
[x] You are very intelligent. (Its not arrogant for me to say that, right?)
[] Your five senses are extremely keen. (I'm blind as a bat, but my hearing is uncanny.)
[] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[x] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible. (Whenever I'm working or out with people other then my friends.)
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[] You look very young for your age. (I look older for my age...)
[x] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 5

Fairy:
[] You are happy a lot of the time.
[x] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[] You are young and short.
[] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 3

Gnome/Dwarf:
[x] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[] You are short for your age.
[] You are an isolationist.
[x] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[x] You look older than your age.
[x] You love the woods and the mountains.
[] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[] You have a short temper.
Total: 5

Harpy/Siren:
[] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[] You often take things that aren't yours.
[] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man. (Does "manly woman" count?)
[] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[x] You love to trick others.
[x] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 5

Mermaid:
[x] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[x] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[x] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea. (I like those 18th century ships, but I get sea-sick very easily.)
[x] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells. (I'm a pack-rat; I'll collect anything.)
[x] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 7

Vampire:
[] You're a night person.
[] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[XXXXXXX] You are not religious at all. (LOL jk...)
[] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[] You hate food with lots of garlic in it. (OM NOM NOM NOM!)
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips. (I'd say its more "sensual"...)
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 4

Werewolf:
[] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you. (I'M PETRIFIED OF FULL MOONS.)
[x] You have a lot of body hair. (For a girl, yes... "manly woman" remember?)
[x] The ability to shape-shift is the best superpower to you.
[] You prefer gold over silver items.
[] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 4

Wizard/Witch:
[] You love chemistry. (I lump chemistry and biology in the same category as math; i.e. impossible for me to understand. Now, astrophysics...)
[x] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic.
[x] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements.
[x] You are a nature lover.
[x] You have a strong sense of responsibility.
[x] You spend a lot of time alone.
[x] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely. (Its hard to avoid my pug; he's up my butt constantly. And when I leave him in another room, I've got the cat up my butt...)
[] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[x] Cooking is one of your favorite things to do.
[] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.
Total: 7

Zombie:
[x] You are pale.
[x] You are hungry a lot. (I'm hypoglycemic a lot.)
[] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[x] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold.
[x] You love to eat meat.
[x] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food.
[] You make grunts and moans a lot
[] You usually walk slow.
[x] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on yourself. (I think its impossibly for a woman to say that honestly. SHE SEES IT EVERY MONTH.)
Total: 6

Satyr/Faun:
[x] You are very passionate about the things you like.
[] You like to get drunk and dance.
[x] You're very amorous.
[x] You like art and music.
[x] You enjoy feasting with friends.
[] You love nature but more for the animals then the trees and plants.
[x] You like getting rowdy and having a good time.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[] You love the chase almost as much as the capture. (I never "chase", but I almost always get unwittingly "captured", much to my displeasure... bleh!)
[] You wish you had horns.
Total: 6

Iz bored and stalling for time so I don't have to clean :D

Swine Flu Update
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
Thank you Obama, for being the smart guy and telling everybody how stupid they are for worrying about the flu. THANK YOU.

Oh hey, look! Even a respected epidemiologist is saying its nothing to worry about! Wanna know how many people have died from the flu in total around the world?

17 people.

17.



And that's only because they waited seven days before finally going to the doctors. And probably after getting so horrifically dehydrated that even an IV drip couldn't help them. And 16 of those people died in poor, backwater third world countries, where proper hygienic procedures are not very high on the list of hospital priorities.

In conclusion: people are stupid. Listen people, GO OUTSIDE. Its not an pandemic. Its a really bad cold. And if you do get sick, drink plenty of fluids (water, not soda dumbasses) and get some sleep. You will be just fine. Worry more about the tiny kids, really old people, and immuno-compromised; its harder for them to fight off infections, hence they are at a higher risk of susceptibility then average, healthy adults. If I have to hear one more healthy teen weeaboo cry over getting the sniffles and dieing, I'm going to shove my foot so far up their ass...

Swine Flue? Try AIDS.
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
Who else here thinks that the "swine flu" or "H1N1" is a crock of shit? Sounds like a really lame attempt by pharmaceutical companies to line their fat wallets. I wouldn't suggest getting flu shots for it either (I wouldn't suggest getting them for regular flu either), because they don't work. All the flu shots are is arbitrary guesswork with past flu strains; pharmacists take past strains, fill you up with them in hopes that it immunities your body against the newest bout of flu, which by the way mutates yearly. And besides, according to the government H1N1 is a strain absolutely no shot can fight against, so quit buying the medication!.

Besides, I've only heard of ONE PERSON dieing! Jeez! It's just a slightly more terrible flu, which means the usual coughing, vomiting, and crapping that comes with every other flu. And the people who were hospitalized were either old people, babies, or really stupid people who don't know how to drink liquids after having diarrhea. HURR DURR.

I have a theory that the only reason dumbasses Americans are freaking out over it ("Oh, it's a PANDEMIC!!") is because of the photos and video feeds of Mexicans running around with face masks on. And the only reason its worse there is because they come from a poor-ass country. The don't have the money for nice, neat little drugs like America does, so yes it's gonna look bad. Doesn't mean it is.

I don't think the reported "60 cases" (note the use of "cases" not "deaths") should be labeled as a "pandemic". When millions of people die in the span of two years like in 1918, then that's a pandemic. But this is just pandemonium; i.e. people creating a frothing volcano mountain out of an ant hill. Chill out people. Drink some fucking orange juice and if you get it, it's just THE FLU. YOU GET IT EVERY YEAR REGARDLESS.

And if you should die because of it, well... call it natural selection.

Let's start worrying about REAL pandemics like world hunger, TB, and AIDS, not some poop and sniffles.

Re: Mouse
Stiles gun
louis_lombardi
Mr. Mouse is no more.

He made the mistake of wandering out past the kitchen and into the living room. Little did Mr. Mouse know, Beefcat likes to sleep on the living room couch and he was currently doing so while said mouse tried sneaking past.

Despite popular belief (and to my utter surprise) fat, lazy Beefcat is actually good for something other than barfing on my bedsheets at 3 am and not aiming directly for the cat box.

Cat is now smug and beaming for congratulatory belly rubs.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck cleaning up dead mice from the living room rug.

Farewell Mr. Mouse. RIP.

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